It's good to know you're there
by mykonosparadise
Summary: Romano is suffering from depression, and he has his own way to express it. Antonio is there to help. AU drabble Spamano


**Pairing: **Spamano****

Warning: can be a bit depressing?, language****

Summary: Romano is suffering from depression, and he has his own way to express it. Antonio is there to help. AU drabble Spamano  
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**- It's good to know you're there... -**

It wasn't because of Ludwig, really.

Romano would have found _anybody_, or _anything_ to justify his bad mood and rude behavior.

He stormed out of the room, painfully aware of the stares and whispers.

'Churl' and 'Uncouth' reached his ears, even though he didn't want to hear it. He snorted dejectedly – he had been called worse. Whatever, fuck those idiots.

He didn't manage it to exit the building, Antonio prevented him from doing so. He cursed.

"Roma, please come back, why are you so angry?" Antonio asked him, not a trace of anger in his voice. Romano recognized understanding and sympathy instead.

Antonio was always like that.

He was always so fucking understanding. Why did he even bother? How could he tolerate him all the time? Because they were _boyfriends_?

"Go away." Romano hissed, making an unsuccessful effort to free himself from Antonio's persistent grasp on his arm.

"Romano," Antonio's fingers dug into his arm, not letting him escape, "Calm down. Let us return to the table." He forced Romano to turn to him, but the younger brunette stubbornly avoided looking into his eyes, "I know you're angry, but Ludwig learned his lesson now, didn't he?"

Romano kept his mouth shut. Stubbornness surrounded him like a bubble, not making it possible for Antonio to reach to him.

"Roma..." The older male said, almost cooing, "Unlike you, he is still sitting at the table, even after getting... all dump." He finished dubiously.

It served the stupid potato right! He was proud for doing what he did – he deserved more than being dowsed by a glass of water. The idiot should be grateful it was only water. Wine would have ruined his suit completely.

The whole event was a disaster to begin with. A _double date_? Who the hell would want to have a double date together with the stupid potato!

Oh right – his equally stupid brother. Who was probably helping Ludwig to dry off right now.

Pathetic.

Anger and bait washed over him, he yanked his arm away from the other in an attempt to free himself again, but Antonio wouldn't let go.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" He snarled, feeling a tingle of regret for raising his voice at Antonio. He was an idiot, really, but he didn't do anything, and he was_ his_ idiot anyway.

Antonio loosened his grip instantly after getting yelled at. The initial surprise passed after few seconds and he spoke then.

"Roma, please don't be so angry, you don't have a reason to. Really..." He tugged at Romano's arm again, "Come on, let's forget everything and have a lovely dinner. What do you think?"

It seemed Romano insisted on crashing all his hopes for a nice evening.

"Fuck off, jerk! Don't you know when to give up?" His voice was getting louder and louder.

Antonio's green eyes widened at the rude reply.

"What did you say?" The taller man asked softly, not believing the words.

Romano broke away from his boyfriend's grip poignantly.

"Read it from my lips." Romano gritted out, now looking straight into Antonio's eyes, his gaze almost challenging, "_Fuck off_." He whispered.

Neither of them moved.

Romano doubted he had the energy – physically and mentally – to leave now, and his coat and personal belongings were still in the restaurant. Antonio would probably take that instead of him, but still...

They stood like that for some more, not talking.

Antonio suddenly understood what was happening. It hit him like a slap in the face. Romano was experiencing depression.

It happened often lately - the persistent anxiety and low mood.

Antonio couldn't entirely comprehend what Romano was going through, but he was always there for him. He was the only one who was there to help. But it wasn't easy – the other wouldn't listen to him in these situations, he was being offensive, unreasonable, sometimes even violent.

He tried with reason, it didn't work.

There was only one thing that could help him now.

Pity.

Romano's pity.

That was something he would save for the end, something he would use only when he found himself at bay.

"Romano..." He whispered. Pleaded.

Said brunette winced visibly at the tone.

"Romano..." Antonio took one limp hand into his own and pressed a kiss into the skin. Carefully first, then more secure. He nuzzled the back of Romano's wrist before his kisses grew more bold and passionate, going higher with every new kiss.

"Romano... Romano, please... _please_..."

It was awkward doing this. With your partner so passive, so seemingly uncaring. An observer might have mistaken the younger male for a living sculpture - unmoving, uninterested.

"Roma, _please_..." Antonio kissed again. His lips stayed there, as though glued to the warm skin, for few more moments, "Please, don't do this to me..."

Romano turned his head to the side. He couldn't watch.

It looked like it was over, the battle was lost.

Antonio knew the truth was different.

Romano was boiling inwardly. It was only a matter of seconds when he would snap.

He didn't have to wait for long.

Antonio found himself with armful of trembling brunette only a moment later.

Trembling...

Romano was crying. His resistance broken, his walls shattered. He trembled from surpassed sobs. Didn't want to let the other hear him.

He never did. Would never allow himself to be weak in front of Antonio...

... but who was he fooling? He was weak.

He was pathetically weak, and he knew it. Only Antonio's comforting hands, his strong chest and familiar pleasant scent, held him back from falling to the floor in desperation.

Yes, it was true. Antonio never heard him cry. He saw him, but heard – never.

They stood there, only the two of them, alone, breathing together, needing each other. 

**- The End -**

**A/N: ... what was that? I don't even know...**


End file.
